Muscles

I'm not even sure where to begin. It has been a hard week. Our family has been turned upside down and we are struggling to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Out of obedience to God, we made a life altering decision to joyfully welcome a special girl into our family. Although there were no illusions that life would be sunshine and roses and we'd all live happily ever after, you can never know how your family structure will handle stress until it is smack dab in the middle of it.

All the books talk about what to expect from the adopted child so we are really not surprised. Oh, it's harder then it seems in the books, but nothing has particularly surprised me about Irina's behavior. Everything we see is very "normal" considering the circumstances and history. Perhaps the surprise is how long I was able to "keep it together" before I really crashed?? I've hit a wall and a funk has kind of settled over me. I'm on sensory overload from interacting with the kids non-stop...often long into the night. I know the truth and I know that God is with me. I'm SO very thankful for friends and family who speak the truth of God's word to me over and over when I'm struggling to believe it. That is the only thing that can give me hope.

Irina is doing great and certainly growing. One might even say she is thriving. Oh, she has her really hard moments, but she is learning little by little what it means to be in a family. She is learning what it looks like to be loved and what it means to have boundaries. She is also seeing first hand a mom who is needy for Jesus. I think that is a good thing, but it is very humbling. She has seen me lose my cool and ask for forgiveness. This entire experience has stripped me bare and humbled me quite a bit. Any success we experience is all because of the Lord. Honest and true. I cannot claim any credit! All glory be to God.

The kids and I were reading from the book of Joshua in the Bible this morning and I was reminded of some really important truths. Joshua was commanded by the LORD to lead the people across the Jordan River into the land God promised them. In the first chapter, God told Joshua four times "Be strong and courageous." I think it's pretty important since He repeated himself four times. I've been meditating on this passage.

"Be strong and courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:7-9

God told Joshua to be strong. I don't think he meant to lift weights and pump some iron. ;) Immediately after God tells Joshua to be strong, He follows that by telling him to meditate on God's word. God's word is what is going to make Him strong and courageous. I'm feeling very weak, but God will make me strong. I can flex my spiritual muscles and soak up God's word day and night and THAT will make me strong. He is with me. I don't need to be terrified of what is up ahead and I can throw off discouragement that threatens to bury me. GOD is with me and He will be with me wherever I go!

Seriously, this blog must be more for me than for anyone else. I feel so much more encouraged now then when I began this blog post thirty minutes ago. If you made it to the end, thanks... more pictures coming soon. We did have a few fun moments this week. :)