Unconditional

A couple weeks ago, I mentioned how much the illustration of blooms and weeds really resonated with me as I think about my daughter. (See HERE) What a treasure to see the beautiful blooms growing that we didn't plant. What a privilege to see them burst forth! On top of that there are many more lovely new blooms growing as a result of her new experiences. I cherish those moments when I have eyes to see how God is at work in her life. 

However, now that Irina has been home with us for 24 days we are also recognizing the weeds that come with experiencing life as an orphan. The challenge for me has been to notice the weeds, pray for wisdom in how to deal with them, and not take them personally. My feelings can have no bearing as I muddle through parenting her. As a sensitive feeling gal, I'd say this is very hard for me. I was reminded recently that our love for Irina must be unconditional. It is not based on her bloom/weed ratio. It is not based on my feelings at any particular moment.

I have not been able to get that out of my head. On my long run this morning, it was all I could think about and of course the only model I have for perfect unconditional love is in God's love for us. Sitting down to read my devotional book after my run, I was so encouraged to discover the topic was on God's unconditional love! The timing couldn't have been better.

God's love for us is "bountiful, with no strings attached." "Absolutely nothing in heaven or on earth can cause [God] to stop loving [us]." "[God's] love for [us] is perfect; therefore it is not subject to variation." (Sarah Young) Of course this is not something I can muster up enough effort on my own to imitate, but is is my model. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19  God will teach me how to love if I listen to Him.

I haven't figured this all out and I still have a lot to chew on. Somehow offering unconditional love to Irina feels different then offering it to my biological children. We've missed out on the first 10 years of her life. I didn't get to comfort her the first time she fell down and got hurt. I didn't get to see her take her first steps, or say her first words. I didn't get to experience the dependency that little children have on their Mommy's. I don't know how she is really feeling even now because of the language barrier.

We certainly do love her and we're taking this big leap of faith out of obedience to God's plan. We know we're following the right path. Perhaps it is just that our love for her needs to grow with the passing of time as does her love for us? It is incomprehensible that God would love me so devotedly even though I surely offend him with my willfulness, stubbornness and sinfulness. I'm really challenged to take time and think about these verses in 1 Corinthians. It doesn't just belong at weddings or apply only to husbands/wives. This is how God loves us!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8