Overflowing

Our travel date is fast approaching. The boys are packed for their stateside adventure and all our things are laid out and ready to be put in our suitcases for our Eastern European adventure. God's mercies are overflowing on us. Prayers have been answered and it is really evident people are praying. I am confident that God is speaking to me and encouraging me through the lyrics to songs, hymns or scripture the Spirit pops into my head. What an intense experience!

I love this quote from Community Bible Study yesterday. "You can't learn to swim by taking an online class. You have to get IN the water. In the same way, we can't catch faith from anyone else. It has to be grown in us by exercising it." (Faye Rivers) God is exercising our faith!

I was also encouraged by this little nugget in our study guide.
"Faith calls us to believe what we have not yet experienced. Like Abraham, we must venture into new territory not knowing where we are going (Hebrews 11:8). The unknown future with God may seem terrifying. What if God expects us to give up all the old familiar ways? What if He leads us to places or experiences that are outside our comfort zone? Ask Him to give you Abraham-like faith to believe Him for the impossible. "

"My Hope is Built on Nothing Less" 
by Edward Mote, 1797-1874
1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

Cliff Jumping

We leave in less then one week, and I will confess that today I am scared. While this is not a new emotion when it comes to our adoption journey, it is not one that I experience regularly. Today though, it hit me hard. 

We have nothing to boast about, except for the Lord. Prior to hosting Irina last Christmas, we talked about the possibility of adopting someday in the future. "Our plan" was to wait until we had our act together and then to adopt a young child under 3. 

And these plans were not carved in stone... we weren't even sure that we would adopt someday. Just some late night ramblings. 

It's quite funny when you think about it. Often times our plan is not God's plan. :) We certainly don't have our act together and Irina is 3 + 7! We cannot boast in perfect parenting skills, a perfectly well-kept house, or in a model marriage. We fall short of perfection. Why is He asking us to adopt Irina and take this leap?

Today, I felt a little like God was leading me off a cliff. There I am on the edge of the cliff and questioning why He wants me to move forward. I'm trying to control how fast I walk. I keep pulling back on His hand and finding diversions to keep me from confidently following Him. I tell Him I need to go back to the store to get one more thing for our journey off the cliff. Before I go, I need to make sure my snow boots and hat match my winter jacket. ;) And yet, He patiently stands beside me leading me on. Promising that He'll be with me. Promising me that He'll provide for all my needs. Promising me that trusting Him for His plan will bring so much more blessing than I can even imagine. Even when it is not easy. We're about to take that jump.

I was so much more adventurous in my teens and 20's! I've traveled overseas before to Austria, Czech Republic and Morocco. I don't remember being nervous about those trips. It's easy for me to build a wall around myself and think my safety comes from controlling my surroundings. I like to be over prepared and anticipate every need before it happens. If the packing list I found online says to bring duct tape and safety pins, by golly, I pack them. Why not? I do think there is value in being prepared, but I think there is a part of my obsessive detailed packing that stems from my lack of trust in God. Ultimately, no matter what I bring or don't bring, I need to remember that God will be with me. If I let Him, His Spirit will help me to find joy in all circumstances. My source of confidence and joy does not come from being prepared, but it comes from trusting in God. I'm preaching to myself here!

In Community Bible Study we are studying the book of Romans. This week, we are studying Chapter 4 in which Paul reminds the Romans that Abraham was justified by faith and not by works. What particularly captured my attention today was the reference to the story from Genesis 18:10-14 where God was promising Abraham that he would have a son. Now remember, at this point Abraham was about 100 years old and Sarah's womb was dead. And yet, Abraham believed the Lord when He said he would have a son and be the father of many nations. Romans 4:20-21 says, "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." This is the faith that made Abraham righteous. This challenges me and I pray that God will enable me to have a faith like Abraham. I pray that He will continue to do a good work in me.

I have no doubt that we are being obedient to God in pursuing the adoption of Irina. Honest and truly. If you've been reading this blog, you have seen the story unfold and seen how God has led us down this path. It is unmistakeable. All glory to Him! Now we need to take each next step and let His word light our path. If I let myself think too far down the path, I might stumble in darkness. All I need to think about is what He has for me right now. I don't need to worry about what the future will look like. Although, I hope in the near future my three little boys will remember not to run around the house in their underwear screaming like wild banshees when their big sister gets here!!! 

We can only boast in what God is doing in our cracked jars. "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Corinthians 4:7) God has molded us and there are cracks. In those cracks and weaknesses, I hope and pray that His light is shining out. 

[And God's word has washed over my worried heart... ahhh! Amen!]

Will You Join Our Prayer Team?

December 2012

Time has passed in a flurry of paperwork, training classes, letters, packages, and unbearable periods of waiting. But after all the long months, we finally leave in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS for our first of two trips to Ukraine to complete her adoption. Wow! All along the way, God has guided us by opening doors, encouraging our hearts, and providing everything we need to even consider such an endeavor. Adopting Irina would be inconceivable without God’s guidance, grace and provision. It is our hope that we have walked the path he laid before us faithfully and with humble, grateful hearts. As we complete the final, perhaps most critical steps of our adoption, we need your help. There are still many hurdles to clear and countless reasons something could go wrong. We cannot do this simply on our own strength or understanding. Our greatest need is to gather a committed prayer team. Will you consider committing seriously to this? We will need each step of our final journey covered in prayer. If you are interested, send us a quick email saying you’d like to join the prayer team. We will send out email updates regularly with specific ways you can be praying for us as we get ready to leave, while we are in country and as we return home. Our email address is; djlsmith@verizon.net

September 2013

Lastly,we have had some folks express an interest in participating financially in our adoption. In response to this, we have set up an account with Lifesong for Orphans (a 501(c) 3 non-profit organization) to enable a financial gift to be tax deductible. 100% of the gift goes directly to cover adoption costs – nothing will be taken out for Lifesong for Orphans administrative costs. We’ve included more information about donating at the bottom of this blog post. We are so grateful to all of our friends and family who have prayed for us and encouraged us as we step out in faith and obedience. We know there will be challenges ahead and we will continue to need your prayers and support, but we also know that God is faithful and full of love and mercy. Thank you in advance for walking alongside us! Don’t forget to send us a quick email if you’d like to join our prayer team or simply leave a comment on this blog. Let’s bring our daughter home!! ☺


~ With sincere gratitude and overflowing hearts,
                                           Darin and Jill







Financial giving notes:
1) Checks should be payable to “Lifesong for Orphans”; in the memo line put “Smith/#3905”. Please
mail your check to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.
2) To pay online go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate. Select “Give to an Adoptive Family.” Complete the online form and fill in “Family Account Number” and “Family Name” fields. (Smith #3905) Note PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9%+ $.30 USD per transaction). Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.
3) In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non‐profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
4) Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request.

Preparations Continue

We leave in less then 2 weeks for our first trip! Oh my! I'm not nearly ready. I haven't even begun to pack or make a detailed packing list. I don't have any winter boots and they had snow there last week. I'm not worried though. 

I know it will all come together and we are getting very excited! 

We almost have Irina's room ready. I have a couple more pieces of wall art and pillows to set up that were given to us from friends. We need to add some shelving and baskets to her closet to use as a dresser. That will probably have to wait until we are between trips or maybe even after she comes home. For now, I thought you might enjoy seeing how we've set up her room. 

Almost everything we added to the room was repurposed items or gifts. I am thankful!

You may remember from when we hosted her that we have this large map on one wall in her room. We had been using this as a homeschool room for geography, history and reading. We are happy to pass it along to Irina.  We debated quite a bit and were not ready to remove the wall paper map. We had just redone this room last fall and it wasn't in our budget to redo it yet. 

So, we worked hard to try to make it as girly as possible. 

 Considering her background, I like having the map. I think it is pertinent. Someday, we'll redo it with her input. 

For now, we are thrilled for our little Ukrainian to join our family. 

The school desk was one that I sat on as a little girl watching my dad painting. The spool bed was in my parents attic formerly used by my brother. I found a quilt to tie in the colors from the map and added some pink to make it girly. 

I had so much fun making the ruffled curtains and bedskirt!

This sweet canvas was from the adoption shower my dear friend Joanna threw on Irina's behalf. I intended to write a post about that, but it never happened. Maybe some day? Irina is being grafted into our family. We are thankful for the many friends who have prayed for her and loved her from afar. The "leaves" (finger prints) are from all the women who made it to the shower. 

A personalized pillow case made by a new friend. :) 

Her photo collage and bookshelf. We need to add more books, but I'm sure that will happen quickly. 

 The boys painted the pink "IRINA" letters. I redid the photo board with pink ribbon and added pictures of her new family members and friends. The pictures on the back of her bedroom door are artwork I saved from when she was here at Christmas. 

She made pretty pictures with stickers and was delighted!

Lastly, a baby doll in a cradle with a quilt. This was a gift from very special friends. Rachel and Megan, with the help of their mom, hand stitched and machine sewed this quilt to match the curtains in Irina's room. Even though Irina is 10, it is very important that she goes back and touches some developmental milestones she likely has never experienced. It will be a part of her healing process. She has probably never had a baby doll like this to play with. Although, I've had to keep this doll and cradle locked away in her closet to keep Aaron from playing with it!! :) Hopefully she'll share it with him occasionally when she comes. 

I have to say that preparing her room has been very special for me. Even though I have never really liked girly colors, they are growing on me. There is a lot of pink and purple in her closet!! I'm going to have to get used to it! :) 

We are so grateful for your prayers. 

DATE!!

Yesterday we received the date of our appointment at the SDA in Kiev, Ukraine! Hooray! We will be traveling in LESS THEN 4 WEEKS. We have quite a journey ahead of us.

Here is what we anticipate* our travel will look like:

1st Trip: Darin and I will travel to Ukraine for about a week. This trip will include our appointment in Kiev, a 12 hour train ride to Irina's region, a visit at the orphanage, and a submittal for a court date in her region. Then our journey home. (train, plane, etc.)

We'll have about 2 weeks and then...

2nd Trip: All FIVE of us will travel to Ukraine for an experience we will likely not forget. :) We'll stay in country for 3-4 weeks or more, depending on the speed of the process (court date, 10 day waiting period, visa, passport, medical exam, exit interview, etc.) A great thing about homeschooling is that we'll continue on with our studies the best we can in country. At the conclusion of this trip we will bring our daughter home!!

We covet your prayers as we prepare to travel. Thank you for following along with us on our journey towards bringing Irina home. Let's pray we are home by December!

*We have been learning to hold all our plans loosely, since it is possible our plans may change. If that is the case,  we will have to be ready to be flexible. You can pray for this. :) 

Our Help and Our Shield

I am praying through the Psalms as we wait. There is still no word on travel dates. Tomorrow marks seven weeks since dossier submittal. September 3rd marked nine months since we said good bye to Irina at the airport. We do have reports from a fellow adoptive Momma that Irina definitely remembers us and is anxious to see us. She knows we are coming for her. Irina even colored us a picture and sent it back with the adoptive mom that got to see her in person! Precious!

We are praying for you my sweet daughter! The God who created heaven and earth with a word, knows exactly when we will see you again. We can trust Him for "he is faithful in all he does." Help my heart to believe it!!

"For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. 
The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.

By the word of the Lord were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea into  jars; he puts the deep into storehouses. 
Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world rever him. 
For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded and it stood firm. 
The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people he chose for his inheritance.
From the heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; 
from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth-
he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.
No kind is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 
to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the Lord; for he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 
May your unfailing love rest upon us O Lord, even as we put our hope in you." Psalm 33

Hard

We are still clueless over here... and it hurts. It's been 12 days since we learned that our dossier was approved and we were told we'd know by now when our court date is in Ukraine. We know nothing. NOTHING. NO contact with anyone who has information. It feels like I'm dreaming. I'm fearful and praying God will help me trust Him. I'm struggling to do so. Today, I put together a collage photo frame for her room with some old and new photos and it was HARD. I want to be joyful, trusting, and expectant. Instead I'm worried, fearful and anxious. Are we really going to Ukraine any time soon or are we going to find out that Irina has been adopted by someone else? Should I begin the grieving process now? Crazy/Irrational thoughts and dreams!!

As a believer in Jesus, I should be filled with HOPE. Hope in what I KNOW is true. "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 God knows exactly when we'll be traveling. He knows the plans. He created Irina. He knows exactly how many hairs are on her head. He LOVES her more then us. These things are true no matter what happens. How do I live in the place of trusting Him and still accept these challenges? Can I find joy and thanks in ALL things? 

The uncertainty is burdening me. As fall schedules get going, how can I plan anything? for the boys? for us as a family? I have no idea what the next couple months look like and that is really bizarre for me. Can I settle in to just taking it day by day, moment by moment, trusting that God has this figured out? Oh, how I need His Spirit to help me do this. It's so contrary to how I am wired and maybe that is why we are walking this path? Perhaps it's an opportunity to learn to really trust Him?

Those of you who have walked the path of adoption, or have friends who have, already know about the challenges we will face once she is here. Others of you are more idealistic and naive. Once we get her home, the hard part will be just beginning. I don't say that to be pessimistic, but the hours and hours of required training for older child adoptions have not left me in the dark about what to expect. Irina is created by God and we are delighted to have her as a part of our family. We are confident that we are walking in obedience to God in opening our hearts and home to her.  However, Irina is a hurting child. Yes, the girl who we hosted at Christmas was filled with an inexplicable joy. As some have said, yes, she is a gem. But deep down, below that giggle and energy are wounds. Wounds that will eventually reach the surface as she finds a place of safety with us. Wounds that I'll never share... for it's not my story to tell. Our job will be to love her as she sifts through her emotions and discovers who she is in God's eyes. I can't fix her past, but I can give her His hope for her future. I certainly can't handle this in my own strength! We know (at least in our heads) that we will be blessed beyond measure as we lean on Him through the challenges ahead.

As I sit here in tears praying for our sweet girl, brainstorming a new American middle name, getting her room ready, wondering how she is doing, wondering what our future holds, hoping she still wants us to adopt her, wondering if we'll ever travel, crying out to God to give me peace and trust...will you join me in praying? Please pray that God will calm me and give me peace. Please pray that we will get information soon. Please pray that we will trust His timing and have JOY while we wait. Please pray that we will trust His financial provision as we are in the final stretch. I am looking forward to sharing how God answers these prayers. I know He will! 

[For additional reading about older child adoptions, check out this blog post from a fellow adoptive Momma. Based on my reading and training, it sounds right on.  Click HERE to read it.]