At a Crossroads in Blog Land

There is so much to catch up on here. I hoped to spend time blogging over spring break, but instead I really focused on catching up on SLEEP. Do you see this? An average of 7 hours and 39 minutes for the week. Much better then my typical 5-6 hours per night. Absolutely delicious. It's amazing what an extra hour or more of sleep can do for energy, attitude, perspective, etc.

I didn't just sleep over our break. (Although...sometimes that sounds lovely.) Without the daily schoolwork, there was time to exercise in daylight, play with the kids, do some spring cleaning, enjoy outings with my nephews, and prepare for a 13 year old birthday. (Yikes!)  It was a refreshing 4 days off; 6 days if you count the weekend. Thank you Jesus for the sweet break.

Life at the Smith house is full of ups, downs, happy days, angry days, struggles, successes, disobedience (not just with the kids), kindness, unkindness, repentance, forgiveness, and redemption. I've come to a crossroads with how to blog here. I have no problem sharing my weaknesses. In fact, if you ask I'll probably share more then you ever really care to know. ;) I enjoy processing all the things that God is teaching me as my sin and weaknesses are revealed in day to day life. Sometimes I am quiet here because it's busy. Other times, it's because I haven't been able to see how God can redeem the messy YET and it's just too raw to share in the midst of the messy.

Here is the dilemma I'm wrestling with as I decide how to blog moving forward. I dislike putting on false pretenses. I prefer real and authentic. However, there are many real and authentic parts of our life that are not only MY story. OR, my story so overlaps with my kid's story that it's not fair for me to share personally about them. I can't share the way my sin and my kids' sin rub against each other in such a way that brings me to tears and makes me fall on my knees in prayer. Sometimes it would be too revealing for my kids. This has been a really, really, challenging time for one of my children and me. Our relationship is very fragile and messy and  so confusing. But, it's not only my story to tell and I have to trust and believe that God will redeem the situation. I can't sort it out publicly.

But, if I only show the happy photos and the wonderful moments it won't tell the FULL story. Do you see the dilemma? Maybe I should just be silent...

And then I heard this song by Big Daddy Weave called "My Story."

If I told you my story, you would hear hope that wouldn't let go.
And if I told you my story, you would hear love that never gave up.
And if I told you my story, you would hear life, but it wasn't mine. 

If I should speak, then let it be of the grace that is Greater then all my sin.
Of when justice was served, and when mercy wins.
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in.
Oh, to tell you my story is to tell of Him.  

If I told you my story, you would hear victory over the enemy.
And if I told you my story, you would hear freedom that was won for me.
And if I told you my story, you would hear life overcome the grave.  

If I should speak, then let it be of the grace that is Greater then all my sin.
Of when justice was served, and when mercy wins.
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in.
Oh, to tell you my story is to tell of Him.  

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long.
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long.  

For the grace that is greater then all my sin
Of when justice was served and when mercy wins
All the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh, to tell you my story is to tell of Him. 

This is my hearts desire as I move forward blogging. As I share the wonderful, sweet moments, and photos I want you to see GOD. As I share the great successes and milestones, I want to praise HIM (not me or our family). As I tell you MY story, of how His power is made perfect in my weakness, I want to give Him glory.

Only 8 weeks until BEACH TIME!