An Apple a Day...

...or three of four!

We went apple picking on Sunday afternoon and picked 45 pounds of apples! What!?! 

We'll be eating lots of apples, making apple sauce, and an apple pie is in our future. Yeah!

It was a GORGEOUS day! Look at all those apple trees.

We've usually tied in an apple picking trip with a homeschool field trip. This year, 

we have activities nearly every day of the week. I couldn't figure out how to make 

the trip to the apple farm. Let me just say that I missed the quiet of a mid-week trip. 

It was BUSY! However, we still had a great time together and were so glad 

to have Daddy with us. (Especially glad he could help us carry our apples!)

Jonagold and Golden Delicious! Yum!

 Clever boys found a stick to carry their bag. We had three teams. Luke/Ethan, Aaron/Irina and Daddy/Mommy. 

I confess I took more pictures then picked apples. I was the weak link in my team. ;)

Do you see that full, joyous smile!? She is HAPPY! "Mommy, I LOVE America." 

Despite the angst that comes from reminiscing about her past, she has never 

once expressed regret about leaving her homeland behind. I know that may 

come later, but for now she tells us often that she is thankful God gave 

her a family. US! This is precious and I need to store it up in my heart. 

Do you see those apples along the path? Irina was very concerned that all 

those apples were going to be wasted. When we pulled one apple carefully, 

we would often be surprised by many apples tumbling on our heads to the ground. 

Ouch! And yes, Irina eats the ENTIRE apple including the core. 

When you've known hunger, no food is wasted. 

Cutest worms ever!

And a visit to a nearby walking trail before heading home.

I love taking pictures of them in action. Of course, Ethan had to spin on his way down. 

 Can you believe it has almost been one year since our first trip to Ukraine?

Random Lessons and Thankfulness

Golly, it's been a week since I last posted and I miss it. I started writing a post on three different occasions, but each time I just couldn't press the "Publish" button. The stirrings in my heart are too personal, revealing, and perhaps a little too raw to share. Life is messy. My house is messy! (a fact I'm not accepting of) Maybe that is why I can't think straight?

I can't seem to organize my thoughts or make sense of my feelings. It would be easier if I could file my thoughts away until I have uninterrupted time to think them through. That's not reality right now. Instead, my thoughts are constantly spinning and spinning in my head. Even when I'm simplifying fractions, teaching vowel sounds, studying the Victorian Era and planning meals for our family my brain won't turn off.

Unfortunately, it takes effort to see the good lately. So, I'm practicing cultivating a thankful spirit. Here are snapshots of what I'm learning and what fills my heart with thankfulness.

1) The theme for Community Bible Study this year is "Return to Jerusalem." We are moving at high speed and reading books of the Bible I have never read. I've been challenged by Jeremiah's willingness to obey God's call for his life and boldly proclaim God's words to a stubborn people. I'm challenged that although the people did NOT repent, Jeremiah's mission was still considered successful in God's eyes. "If we have done what God wants us to do in faithful obedience, then we can leave the results up to Him. God measures our success by our obedience." (Faye Rivers) Hmmm... how do I define success? Am I being obedient to what God is calling me to do? Am I trusting Him for the results?

2) My kids are serious "pretenders."All four of them! If we go to the zoo, then they pretend play they are zoo animals and zoo keepers. If we watch a clip of American Ninja Warrior, then they pretend they are the athletes. Everything they see and hear is fair game for pretend play. We took a field trip to an estate that was built in the Victorian Era. Following the trip they spent HOURS pretending they were from the Victorian Era. When they started cleaning their rooms at bedtime Friday night to "set it up like a museum," I was hard pressed to discourage this type of pretend play. Clean kids! Clean!!! :) They worked eagerly fluffing pillows, turning back their bed covers, straightening book shelves, etc.. I watched in amazement as they worked diligently. They finally settled for bedtime, but were up the next morning back to their Victorian play. I'm so thankful for their amazing imaginations. And again, I'm thankful for how the boys include Irina and listen to her ideas too. They never exclude her and she feels safe to join in. This is a gift.

3) I'm slowly settling in to our long school days. It's a reality that I need to accept, and I accept it better when I have cooperative students. What a treat today (Monday) to finish school with my bookends (Irina and Aaron) at 12:35!!! I cannot describe how lovely it was to have 2 hours before picking up the older boys. I'm driven by my need to be productive, but I have to say I don't feel guilty that I spent a large chunk of my extra time today working on my Bible Study and reading a book. (I will probably regret that I didn't vacuum the house, fold laundry, or clean bathrooms. For now I can say I enjoyed myself.) I'm so thankful that Aaron and Irina had such a great time on this rainy day building with legos together. What a sweet reprieve for me!

4) Little by little, I am understanding Irina better. I am learning how to keep her functioning more optimally. I'm aware of "little sparks" that can become "BIG flames." I'm trying to choose to "catch the spark" instead of fanning the flame. Sometimes I'm stubborn and foolish and make things worse.

Meeting Irina's physical needs takes effort and awareness. Sounds silly, but it matters. Did you know kids from hard places are more prone to dehydration? (learned that at the conference) Now I finally understand there are biological reasons for her constant obsessive need for water. She also needs a healthy snack every two hours. It doesn't serve us well for her blood sugar to drop.

Life moves more smoothly when Irina has a clear schedule. Don't we all? We still have occasional meltdowns on weekends without structure and without a clear plan for the day. She does not handle transition very well or a change in plans. This is not unique to her. I have a biological boy who has similar struggles. I'm trying to coach them both through these changes in plans. When I'm intentional, patient, and persistent it is better for all of us. I am often stubborn, irritated, foolish, and impatient. God is trying to smooth out my many rough edges... if I'll let Him.

So what am I thankful for in all these words? I'm thankful that I'm learning. There is progress, no matter how small it feels. Just like God does not give up on me, He is trying to teach me to keep pouring out love on my daughter and pursuing her even when it doesn't feel easy. Doesn't God offer me that unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness? This attachment process will take time.

5) Lastly, today I'm thankful for a selfless study hall teacher at the homeschool academy. Ethan's classes finish 1.5 hours before Luke's are finished. During that last chunk of time, Ethan sits in study hall and is supposed to work on his other core work while waiting for me to pick up both boys. The past couple weeks, she has voluntarily helped Ethan focus and keep on task. (Which is especially hard for him at the end of the school day!) This study hall teacher not only serves me, but Ethan has thoroughly enjoyed her positive interaction. This blesses me quite a bit!

* More pictures coming soon!

Impressionable

I didn't have much time to watch television this past summer, but one random night I happened to catch an episode of "American Ninja Warrior." I was hooked. Don't let the title confuse you. There is no fighting. Basically, it is an obstacle course for adults who happen to be amazing athletes. Turn the volume off on your computer and take a look. (I found the announcers quite annoying.)

Well, one day I decided to show my little athletes the clip you just watched. What was I thinking??? 

This 3 minute and 40 second clip has inspired HOURS/DAYS of pretend play. 

Let me repeat... EVERY chance they get to be outside they are creating a 

new "course" and timing each other to see how long it takes to complete it. 

Do you see those dirty feet? Aaron prefers to be shoeless and his feet are perpetually filthy.

They have reconfigured all the swings and the monkey bar to make different obstacles.

This is part of the course... climbing up the side of the play set. They kindly made an 

alternate course so Irina could still participate, but all three boys can scale this. 

She EAGERLY joins in this play. (even in a skirt!) 

They raided Daddy's scrap wood to make things even more interesting. They jump over "water." 

 I did not take any pictures of the really crazy stunts. Oh my goodness. 

There is no limit to their imagination and recklessness. 

 If you're wondering why Luke is not pictured, these two days when I remembered to 

take pictures he was pretending to be the announcer and taking video with his camera. ;) 

Ethan is pressing the "red button" you see at the end of the video clip above. 

He completed the course in record time. 

Is this his future? Will he be an American Ninja Warrior? ;)

So far, no one has gotten hurt. Just a few splinters and blisters on their hands.

I'm pretty thankful that Irina has no trouble hanging with the boys and that they 

gladly invite her to join in their shenanigans. 

Amusement

Last Sunday after church, we ventured to an amusement park -- a first for Irina.
Our coaster loving Daddy had the date planned for several weeks. After having just returned from the
 Empowered to Connect conference the night before, I was hyper sensitive to it being a bad decision for Irina.
This is one of those times when I'm glad I was wrong. :) They all had a wonderful time, including Daddy. 

Irina's first coaster ride. 

She's still smiling. Notice the huge grin on Ethan. It is no surprise that he is 

following in his Daddy's footsteps in his love of roller coasters. 

While these four definitely have their less desirable moments as siblings, they truly are good friends. 

Of the four kids can you guess which one carefully observed all the traffic lights and signals? Hint... he is not pictured. Of the four kids, can you guess which one struggled to keep their car going straight and on the right side of the road? Hint... it's the one who kept shouting for Mommy and Daddy's attention and waving "hi!"

Does this photo above classify as trauma? I know one kid who might think so. ;) 

This picture made me fast forward 8 years. Oh my! I'm definitely not ready for Ethan and Aaron to go out riding in their monster truck. Do you think I ever will be? A beautiful day and a great first experience at the amusement park for all the kids. After lots of walking,  everyone settled into a good nights sleep. I think Darin got the award for smiling the most.

Empowered to Connect

Last Thursday night, I packed my bags and drove to Reston, Virginia for an "Empowered to Connect" conference. 

From their website:
Empowered to Connect, together with Show Hope, hosts the Empowered to Connect Conference - a two-day conference designed to help adoptive and foster parents, ministry leaders, and professionals better understand how to connect with "children from hard places" in order to help them heal and become all that God desires for them to be.

The conference did not disappoint. It was totally worth the frantic preparations making lesson plans for the substitute teacher (thanks Darin!), meal prep for those left behind, the late night drive and expenses. I'm really thankful that Darin was willing and eager to send me to this conference. Oh how I wish he could have been there with me to absorb all this eye-opening information.

It was definitely two full days (9-5pm) of education. I didn't think I'd be able to sit still that long, but the speakers were a mix of funny, heart wrenching, and so informative. I learned about brain development, self-regulation, sensory processing disorder, and so much more. Quite a bit of what was being shared resonated with me as we meet many challenges with Irina. However, so much of the content was pertinent for parenting the boys too. They have their own set of challenges! And yes, I had my tissues for the tears that just wouldn't behave. ;)

My biggest prayer for the weekend was that God would continue to cultivate in me compassion for Irina. Day in and day out, I can fall into the trap of just being irritated. Last weekend I was reminded of the "why" behind difficult behavior and the importance of setting appropriate expectations. Overall Irina is doing great, but it is a work in progress. But so am I! If there is anything I've learned over the past year, it is that I'm not free from the weeds that can choke out life. I have a lot of weed pulling to do too.

"You cannot lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself."  Dr. Karyn Purvis

"We are not capable of healing our kids, but we are capable of being used by God to help heal our kids." Michael Monroe  

And can I just say how amazing it was to sit in a room full of 700+ adoptive, foster, pre-adoptive parents and social workers? It was great to be in the company of people who "get it." (2 of whom go to church with me, 2 from my adoptive momma support group, and 1 friend of a friend whose blog I stalk. )

Thanks again, Darin, for wearing my "hats" for the weekend.

Long Days

I've been "quiet" in blog world, but we're still alive and kicking. I'm just managing to stay afloat in the midst of many new transitions.

Prior to Sept. 8, we had a pretty good rhythm with school. Every day wasn't perfect, but we had considerably more good days then we had hard days. Yeah! I was a little surprised by how long our school day was taking, but had sort of accepted it. (sort of, not really) Each day would begin around 8:30 and last until at least 2:00, sometimes later. We took short breaks and stopped for lunch, but I was feeling the intensity of working with the kids almost continuously all day. I miss having a "planning period" like I did teaching high school math! (Four kids, four different levels/abilities, no one completely an independent learner) I know, I know... this is our choice. No one is forcing us to homeschool. ;) By the way, all you homeschoolers out there with big families... you amaze me!!!!

When we added in the homeschool academy classes, Trail Life, drum lessons for Luke, and Community Bible Study my system went hay wire. Luke and Ethan have extra lengthy independent work for history, science and writing so our school day became much longer. (Today we finished at 3:45.) The late night at Trail Life makes for tired/cranky boys on Tuesday. It's hard to interrupt our learning to go to drum lessons and Bible Study. These interruptions cause our school day to be extended on those days, but I also know they add a richness to our life. Again, I know we choose to homeschool.  I do feel that this is where God has us this year. It has been an adjustment to have less "free" time for all of us. And, my oh my... my selfish heart has been getting exposed the past couple weeks. When can I have "me" time or "alone" time? Isn't that how the world teaches us to think? Yet that is contrary to what God says, I'm pretty sure.

Next week we are getting ready to add in a once a week art class for Irina and Aaron. We are hoping to add back in gymnastics for my monkey Ethan in October. Aaron is asking to try basketball and gymnastics. Ethan wants to learn how to play the trumpet. Irina has asked about soccer. Luke wants to know why he never has enough time to play with legos. ;) How do we choose what is best to fill our time? How do we keep from going crazy? My introverted self can feel overwhelmed by so many activities. When can I be alone? ha! Is that why I stay up so late at night??

In the midst of all this, what am I thankful for?

1) It brings me great joy to see Luke enjoy his drum lessons. I love seeing him grin from ear to ear at the conclusion of each lesson. Music is such a huge part of his life. His new workbook and cd inspired this trio.

2) Irina and Aaron work together for language arts and reading. I'm glad that is one subject I can double up on! There is something to be said for a healthy dose of competition. Irina is fearless with her reading. She has only one speed and that is fast! So she rattles off words quickly, not worrying about getting them perfect. (Although, she has learned to read quite well for a beginner.) This has totally spurred on Aaron to try harder and be faster. His reading has improved as he has been determined to be the top dog. He's not unkind to her, but I can see he is serious about trying to stay one step ahead.

3) While the additional assignments for the homeschool academy can be very tiring, it can also be fun! Both boys were very happy conducting their science egg experiment, recording their observations, and seeing the results.

4) Prayer sticks have been a new addition this school year. I got the idea from a friend. Thanks Megan! We sat down and wrote the names of all our friends and family members on craft sticks. Then we added extras like orphans, coaches, Sunday school teachers, the President, missionaries, world peace, prayers of praise, prayers of thanksgiving, etc., etc.. Each morning before our walk, we all pick a stick. Then as we're walking we each take a turn praying for whatever is on the stick we pulled. I've loved hearing the kids pray. It makes my heart so happy and I'm thankful that they take it pretty seriously. (That is, when they're not poking each other or rescuing worms in the road.)

Twenty-two days of school down. 158 to go!

What a day!

Today I got a glimpse of what it would be like for two of the kids to be away all day. 

I was filled with a mixture of excitement for them, relief for me, and sadness all balled up into one.

The two oldest boys started at a homeschool academy today! It's just once a week, but a big change for both of them... especially Ethan. They are each taking three classes, a lengthy study hall (so drop off and pick-ups line up) and lunch. They leave home with Daddy at 8:30am and I pick them up at 3pm. Luke took a couple classes there last year, but his day was over at noon. He already has friends in his classes and friends to eat lunch with. Ethan, on the other hand, was mostly meeting new friends and navigating the lunch room without his big brother. A big adventure for him!

I just noticed how incredibly sleepy they look in these photos. They were both sleeping when I got home from my run at 7am! That is so completely unheard of in our house full of EARLY birds. I guess that's why they still have tired eyes. They were pretty excited to have full back packs, new lunch boxes and water bottles. I DID NOT COORDINATE THEIR OUTFITS. ;) I know you might not believe me, but Monday is kid laundry day and this is what was left in their closets besides church clothes. 

The farewells between siblings were beyond cute. 

There were big hugs, running in the yard to watch them pull away, lots of waves as they pulled off in the old "bus." 

It still cracks me up that they are so excited to drive in Darin's car with almost 300,000 miles on it! 

I guess there is nothing quite like being with Daddy. ;) Darin said they chattered all the way to school.  

SO glad Darin indulged me with a photo outside the building right before they went in. 

("Gentlemen, put your hands at your sides and back against the wall.")

They are looking a little stiff, but they had a GREAT day!!! Hooray!

Sort of sweet moments from the day:

1) Irina asked every hour what Luke and Ethan were doing at that moment. "What class are they in now?"

2) Aaron missed his brothers terribly and demonstrated this by requiring extra parenting. It was as if there were three of him. He'll settle in to the new routine soon.

3) I had VERY talkative boys at pick-up. I was worried that it would be like pulling teeth to find out about their day. This curious Momma is so thankful that they had so much to say. I heard SO many details! 

4) Mommy: "Wow, Luke. You have a lot of work to do before next Monday." 

    Luke: "Well, you know, I am getting older Mommy."

5) Luke: "Do you think you could pack a special snack sometimes? Everyone had chips, Dorritos, candy, or soda with their lunch." Oh dear... here come the lunch comparisons. 

6) Ethan: "Irina, I really missed you all day."

7) And now the challenge of getting them both to do their other independent school work (math, grammar, spelling, etc.) during study hall. They are both not equally motivated or able to concentrate in a room full of interesting people to people watch. That made for a lot more work once they got home at 3:30! oh my!! We were just finishing at 6:15pm!! There was some weeping and gnashing of teeth. :(   I know all you non-homeschoolers are probably rolling your eyes as you face this with daily homework. However, it's a new experience for us! I know we'll make progress. It's just the first day. I'm not discouraged yet.

All in all, a great day for the big boys.  On top of that, all three boys had their first "Trail Life" meeting tonight at 7pm. I hope they sleep in tomorrow, because they are still not home at 9:20pm. 

(Irina and I had quality time at home tonight while the boys were away. She asked if she could do jobs and earn money. She helped me fold and put away four loads of laundry. Hooray! We talked a LOT, read books, brushed hair and did I mention talked A LOT?)