What Does Love Feel Like?

I've written at least ten blog posts since January. They've all just been in my head! ha!

I do a lot of thinking, praying, and listening to God when I'm running/walking in the morning in the dark. I have all sorts of thoughts and realizations that never make it on paper. And while I treasure daily time reading God's word to strengthen me spiritually, I also treasure the quiet mornings outside moving. Somehow I'm able to still my mind more easily if my body is moving. Maybe it's just being out of the house when it feels like all the rest of the world is at rest? I feel near to God. 

Recently, I was struck by the lyrics of a Toby Mac song. I know Toby is not for everyone ;)  but his fast beats help me keep my pace and keep me running.  Even though I play music, I don't always notice it - if that makes any sense at all. This particular morning though, I was listening to more then just the beats. Read these words and see if they resonate with you. It's not the whole song, but maybe you'll get the idea.

"Love Feels Like"
I am tired, I am drained
but the fight in me remains
I am weary, I am worn
like I've never been before
This is harder then I thought
Harder then I thought it'd be
Harder then I thought
Takin' every part of me
Harder than I thought
So much harder than I thought it'd be
But empty's never felt so full
This is what love (this is what love)
This is what love
Feels like
This is what love (this is what love)
This is what love
Feels like
Poured out, used up, still given',
stretching me out to the end of my limits
This is what love (this is what love)
This is what real love
Feels like
This is what love feels like poured out,
used up still willing' to fight for it
This is what love feels like
Yeah, this is what it feels like"

My definition and understanding of love is being broadened. I see it in learning to love Irina. I see it in loving the boys, Darin, family, friends, etc.. 

It's so much more then I thought or even realized. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Day to day, it is just plain hard. I'm not very good at it on my own. Loving like Jesus means loving people who are not always lovely! I'm certainly NOT always lovely and I live with some people who are not always lovely. I still need to love them. Trying to figure out what that looks like...

Loving like Jesus means serving, being humble, repenting, forgiving, extending grace, admitting I'm wrong, holding my tongue (the hardest for me!)... Loving like Jesus means emptying of myself and filling up with His Spirit. 

My definition of love is being tested, but I hope and pray that a new understanding will spring up in me. Real love is all about being empty of self and full of Him. God alone gives us hope! So thankful that He loves us with a REAL love (not the cheesy, hallmark kind of love!). Now I need to receive that and let His Holy Spirit poor out of me into others. :)