Good Times

I've used up my word quota for the week so this post is all about pictures. ;) This week we enjoyed tag outside with light jackets on Monday and bundling up in layers for sledding with friends on Thursday.

Building Blocks

When Irina joined our family, it became obvious that one of the schooling hurdles we would have to face is her limited attention span, her difficulty with fine motor skills and her need for speed. There are many variables to consider: her chemical make-up combined with her history, the experience being institutionalized for 2.5 years, the trauma of moving to a new country and leaving all that is familiar behind. All of these things have had an influence in her life.

Her first day building with magna tiles. I highly recommend these blocks!

I've mentioned before that when Irina first came home her schoolwork was completed at lightening speed with little attention to detail. She is usually in a hurry wherever she goes and whatever she does. She doesn't usually walk anywhere. She skips or runs. Standing still is not preferred at all. It took too much effort to work on a craft that was a little challenging or an activity that was not overly simple, so she would flit off and do something else instead. She did some building with the lego duplos alongside the boys, but beside that she didn't seem to have an interest.

I am no trained therapist, so I really have no idea what I'm talking about. However, I have done some reading and I am thrilled to observe progress. All glory be to God! She is making great strides in learning to slow down and stay focused. It's really quite remarkable. Her attention span has increased significantly. Her fine motor skills are improving and her imagination is exploding. Hallelujah!

Kapla blocks -- notice the timer 

Last week, I began daily making one of her workboxes a building block activity. My original motivation was to fill up some time while I was working with the other boys. But I recently did some research and I'm convinced this is so good for her development. You can read more HERE.  According to this article by Gwen Dewar, "There is also evidence that complex block-play is linked with advanced math skills in later life." As a former math major, I'm all about developing advanced math skills. 

city blocks, architectural blocks, jenga blocks

wooden marble run

Each day I give her a timer and tell her to build for 10 minutes. If she is really into it, I let her play longer. However, having the timer really helps her to know there is an end point if she isn't enjoying herself. She doesn't do well with the time being open ended. She can build anything she wants. The boys love to build, so over the years we have collected many different kinds of building toys. We have plain wooden blocks, architectural blocks, kapla blocks, magna tiles, duplos and of course legos. She has become a building machine and I couldn't be more proud of her progress. And of course, she wants me to take a picture of every creation.

She asked to play with the magna tiles during rest time and
then filled the inside of her house with the wooden furniture from her doll house. 

Her latest obsession is building with legos. 

I am so thankful to see these glimpses of progress, especially when there 

are other behaviors that are very slow to progress!! Baby steps… little by little! 

I think she is a blessed little girl to have three brothers who encourage and foster her building skills. 

More Snow?

We got 3 more inches of snow last night. I know that's not much for some of you, but this is the most snow and coldest temperatures we've seen in a long while. The reflection of the sun off the snow was so bright that we needed to wear sunscreen. It was probably the first time Irina has ever worn sunscreen and she didn't like it one bit. With her fair skin, she is going to need to learn to like it this summer. She has pink little cheeks tonight.

We had some fun sledding with friends today too. 

Prison or Praise?

** Warning: This post is too long, but I just couldn't shorten it and 

saw no point in dividing it into two days. Yikes! I have a lot to say today. **

I recently finished reading an interesting book entitled "Prison to Praise" by Merlin Carothers. It was one of four books that showed up on my doorstep as a gift from a praying friend at church. (How cool is that?!) I am pondering much of the content of this book. The overall theme is that as Christians we can either allow our circumstances to put us in a "prison," so to speak. Or, we can be a part of God's transforming work by practicing the discipline of praising God in the midst of trials. Actually praising and thanking Him FOR the trials.  I do not do this. Not one bit. But I am eager to learn and try.

"Jesus didn't promise to change the circumstances around us, but He did promise great peace and pure joy to those who would learn to believe that God actually controls all things.
The very act of praise releases the power of God into a set of circumstances and enables God to change them if this is His design. Very often it is our attitudes that hinder the solution of a problem. God is sovereign and could certainly cut across our wrong thought patterns and attitudes. But His perfect plan is to bring each of us into fellowship and communion with Him, and so He allows circumstances and incidents which will bring our wrong attitudes to our attention.
I have come to believe that the prayer of praise is the highest form of communion with God, and one that always releases a great deal of power into our lives. Praising Him is not something we do because we feel good; rather it is an act of obedience. Often the prayer of praise is done in sheer teeth-gritting willpower; yet when we persist in it, somehow the power of God is released into us and into the situation. At first in a trickle perhaps, but later in a growing stream that finally floods us and washes away the hurts and scars." Merlin Carothers

I'm praying that God will help me sincerely praise Him for the circumstances that I find myself in. That praise has to flow from trusting that my heavenly Father knows what is best for me and that He cares for me. Do I trust Him? Do you?

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (emphasis mine)

In Ephesians chapter 5 Paul describes how believers in Jesus should live. One component of that is found in Ephesians 5:20. "… always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

So without further ado… some things I am thankful to God for. 

1) Spontaneous Uno games between siblings either while I am making dinner or while I am cleaning up the dinner dishes. I love watching these four enjoy each other.

2) I am so thankful for good friends that love me, listen to me and offer me support. It is with these few friends that I share the raw, ugly places of my heart as I learn day by day how to trust God. It is with these friends that I share my weak faith, struggle to hope, or ugly despair. As transparent as I've tried to be on this blog, I simply cannot and won't share everything. However, I don't want to fool or deceive anyone that everything is perfect or that I am positive all the time. I am a sinner and I have many bad days. (Just ask my family!) I'm so thankful to have friends with whom I can safely share the broken places AND that God's mercies are new every morning.

3) We enjoyed sledding at Grammy and Poppy's house on Saturday. It was chilly, but I love watching them enjoy the outdoors together. This was a much better snow hill then our steps from the deck!

4) I am thankful for my adoption support group through church. These women are awesome! Truly a gift.  I have been encouraged, prayed for and given practical strategies for helping Irina go to sleep. I received these wise words as I was struggling last week. 

It's not good and it's not healthy for children to be abandoned to orphanages and raised in (often abusive) institutions. This broken world has harmed Irina.  She has experienced life that is beyond what we can ever comprehend. She has been hurt so badly - maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally. 

You and I and probably most other mothers in similar situations - we are experienced and capable women.  We have raised children - and pretty successfully at that.  But we have never had to be therapists for hurting children who come from hard places, whose brain chemistry is altered, and who have been in survivor mode every single minute of every single day.  We have to change our whole paradigm for parenting these children.  And it is HARD!!! 

There is no one right answer for how to help our children heal.  We may try a hundred different approaches or techniques only to have four or five have an actual positive impact.  So anything you read or any advice that we give you may or may not work.  The only thing that we can truly offer with confidence is our prayers for you and your family. ~ Britta Wolfe

5) Speaking of Irina's sleep… last night, Irina went to sleep within 30 minutes without the typical drama. Hallelujah! This is a record!! It took longer this evening, but one night of improvement is something for which to be thankful.

6) And since Irina went to sleep sooner, that also means that I went to sleep sooner! I slept 7 hours last night with only one brief nighttime interruption. Hallelujah! I'm surviving on 5-6 hours of sleep maximum with regular nighttime wakings. It's amazing how much an extra couple hours will do. 

7) Yesterday afternoon, Irina asked me if she could rake the back yard and earn some money. I said sure! SO she and Aaron got busy working. Remember this was Irina's idea!

When Luke found out that there was an opportunity to earn money, 

he ran outside in his pajamas to join in the work. 

An hour later, they had cleaned up all the gum balls from the back yard. 

Their team work and work ethic makes me thankful. 

When I paid her, she said "Telephone, nine dollars?" 

She is hoping to save up to buy an iPod Touch (which she calls a telephone).  That's a lot of extra jobs!

8) I've mentioned before that Irina likes to be with Darin or me all the time. The only time she is not with us is during rest time or when she first goes to sleep. (She relocates to an air mattress in our room every night when she wakes up with bad dreams. It is the only way to get her to go back to sleep.) Imagine our surprise when she disappeared with the boys on Sunday to the lego room (play room). She spent over an hour building with the boys without checking in. I snuck up there to find them all building together happily. I wish I snapped a picture. Here is what she and Aaron built. 

And yes, the first thing Aaron does when he gets home 

from church each week is to put his pajamas back on!

9) I have seen a significant improvement with Irina's attention span and increased fine motor skills. In December, I gave Irina pattern blocks to work with during school. This frustrated her quite a bit and she refused to do it. I decided to try again today. She did one and then asked to do 3 more!!

10) Today for the third time (yes, I'm counting), Irina said, "I love you Mommy." This was after she said, "Irina love Jesus." I definitely needed to hear this. 

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Chatter

I will never forget the wonderful opportunity I had to babysit for a two year old GIRL back in January 2006. At the time, my oldest boy was 20 months old. After only a short time with this sweet girl, my head was spinning. She was VERBAL. She talked non stop and had an impressive vocabulary. Accustomed to somewhat quiet days with my boy, I was unprepared for this verbal onslaught.

Similarly, Irina has exploded with English words this past week and she must get them out. When she was speaking in Russian, I didn't always need to engage in her chatter. Now that she is speaking so much more English it's important that I respond. It's very choppy toddler speak, but she is learning more and more every day. I'm realizing what expressions I say repeatedly, because she now also says them repeatedly. ;)

Here is just a glimpse of some things we hear…

"I know." "I know, Mommy." "I know." 
"Mommy, look." "Stop Mommy." "Stop Aaron!" "Mommy NO!"
"Mommy loves Jesus." "Mommy loves salad." "Mommy love book."

"Daddy sleeping." "Sun is sleeping." "Irina, no sleeping." "Jesus, no sleep."

"Find boys."

"Irina eleven April three." (She wants to be sure everyone knows when her birthday is.)
"Irina sleeping. Mommy Daddy prize (surprise). Mommy Daddy no sleep. April 3" (She has it all planned out that while she is sleeping the night before her birthday that Darin and I are going to set out surprise gifts for her. How do they figure these things out so fast? She hasn't ever been here for anyone's birthday celebrations.)

I had the opportunity to drive in the car alone with her recently and she was talking a mile a minute. When the boys are in the car, she can't get a word in edgewise.
"Mommy, red - stop. Green - go. Mommy red car. Mommy black mashina. Mommy gray car. Mommy sun. Mommy red - stop. Mommy 40." (speed limit, not age -- yet! ;)  (She interchanges the russian word for machine (mashina) with car. She points out everything she sees that she knows the word for.)

"Irina hot. Irina play outside. Irina bike. Irina scooter. Irina park." (She usually refers to herself in the third person.)

It has been fun to see her language grow. She also knows all her letter sounds and has started recognizing and sounding out some simple words. Irina is still very eager to read simple books to us by either memorizing the words that she has heard us read, or trying to sound them out herself.

We rarely hear her chattering in Russian anymore. Instead, if she doesn't know the English words she is more likely to talk in baby talk babble or play charades. We were told that as she loses her Russian, she would probably also regress developmentally out of frustration for not being able to express herself. We have seen this to be true too.

We Skype weekly with her friend Polina from Ukraine who now lives in the states. Yesterday during our Skype, neither girl spoke Russian. Polina has been home 4 months and forgets how to speak Russian, although she understands it. Irina refused to speak to Polina in Russian. It was a short conversation. The parents on either end did most of the talking. ;) We are determined to keep the connection between the girls and it will be interesting to watch how they interact as they both become fluent in English.

Music Makers

We pulled out our bin of musical instruments this week and made a lot of noise. 

Irina was delighted! In fact, they ALL were delighted. 

 They cranked up the stereo and had a jam session. It was loud!

 Sorry for the blurry picture… but you see I had on headphones to block out the happy noise. 

 No, Ethan is not smoking a cigar. He is blowing a train whistle. 

They all enjoyed the music in their own way.  

Ethan was channeling Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins and wore his instruments. 

 

Aaron got some boxes from recycling and created a drum set. 

 Irina was so happy! She kept saying, "Mommy, Daddy sleeping. Play music loud!" oh dear.

 Luke was very serious about his music making and would not allow any pictures to be taken. 

I think he may have a future with percussion instruments. He has rhythm! …oh my poor ears.