Comfort

If you are looking for some interesting reading, do a search on the impact of abuse and neglect on the developing brain. It's really quite fascinating and horrifying all at the same time. Reading for merely five minutes will convince you that parenting a child from a hard place is very different then parenting a child raised in a loving environment. I read this quote HERE and find it a timely reminder.

"We need to understand the indelible relationship between early life experiences and cognitive, social, emotional and physical health." - Dr. Bruce Perry

This is not new information to me, so why do I find myself surprised by the fluctuation between "storms" and "sunshine' in my daughter? It's more then hormonal tween behavior, by the way. There is a very real reason why particular situations will create the "fight, flight, or freeze" response in Irina. (We've seen all three.) It's so important for us to be prepared and anticipate these reactions with a plan. (which we are working on learning!) The good news...

"There is hope, however. The brain is very "plastic" - meaning it is capable of changing in response to experiences, especially repetitive and patterned experiences." - Dr. Bruce Perry

"Children can learn to balance brain neurochemistry. Regulation has to be modeled and developed. Over time, they learn self-regulation. It must be mentored." - Dr. Karyn Purvis

What that looks like for Irina is very endearing to my heart. When we are at home and she is struggling to self-regulate her "go-to comfort" is this:

She goes to the school room, closes the door, pops in the accompanying audio CD and listens while she is reading along. Sometimes she'll bring it up to her room and listen to it the entire hour long rest time. She is learning to find her comfort in Jesus. What could be better? What a sweet little heart.