December Family Fun

Seeing the Christmas lights and decorations are still mostly a big hit with the kids. 

 Irina's favorite day is Sunday, which is church and family day. 

 Every Sunday she incessantly asks what we are doing. Darin and I will often look 

at each other and shrug our shoulders. We are introverted home bodies so her 

eagerness and expectations can sometimes be a challenge. The boys have 

quickly embraced her need for an exciting plan. 

One Sunday, we went to a fancy hotel in town to see their huge 

homemade ginger bread house. It's made with pounds of candy 

and is quite impressive. The Christmas tree in the hotel is so pretty! (seen below)

We walked several blocks to a nearby outdoor light display. 

Our walk through the city reminded us of our walks in Ukraine. 

It was a lovely evening (not too cold) and the lights were beautiful. However, after surprising Luke with a Toby Mac concert I have realized surprises carry a whole new meaning. We told the kids our outing was a "surprise." (Mostly because we were winging it.) As a result, our 25 minute drive downtown was spent imagining all the wonderful plans we had waiting for them. If we had just told them what we were doing, they would have been delighted. Unfortunately, unmet expectations spoiled their fun. 

Silly expectations!

SO, last week when we went on our annual "Tacky Light Tour" I told them 

upfront what we were doing. No more surprises! We all had a great time!

"Please take my picture, Mommy."

 We have a few more Christmas traditions I'm hoping we can squeeze in before January. We'll see!

Real Meaning Rambles

At the start of December, I was very discouraged by Christmas materialism (in me, in my kids, and in the world). As I've been exposed to more poverty and neediness recently, I have been uncomfortable with participating in frivolous spending. I know the poverty and neediness have always been there, but now I know real people who struggle to know where their next bite of food will come from. Friends we made in Ukraine have been forced to escape their homes and cities. They are thinking about housing, blankets, and necessities as opposed to lego sets, dolls, and other wants.

I've been surprised by how quickly Irina has become the stereotypical American. "You need to get me (fill in the blank) for Christmas! You better get me (fill in the blank)!" she demands. The threat of a tantrum is right at the surface. Surely she remembers when she had so little? Surely she recognizes how much more she has then a little over a year ago? Christmas brings with it all sorts of emotions for her. She may not even understand what she is feeling. Unfortunately, those emotions cause BIG reactions. I read THIS blog post from Jen Hatmaker and was encouraged to know this is a somewhat common reaction for kids from hard places.

Honestly, the boys are probably not any less materialistic then her. They are just a little more covert with their greedy desires. Perhaps that is true of me too? However, I must point out that while Irina is overt with her wants and demands, she is also always the first to effusively thank us for anything given to her. What a roller coaster ride!?

Then I stop and ask myself, "Why are we giving gifts at all? It's not our birthday. What gifts are we getting for Jesus?" Goodness! When you combine observed materialism, poverty, big emotions, and a desire to keep things simply focused on Jesus you get a mom who is a jumbled mess.  

I'm stuck in this tension and Darin has been patient with me as I have wrestled through the jumbled mess. When the kids slip up, I think to myself, "Ha! They don't deserve any gifts." God keeps reminding me that He doesn't withhold any gifts from me because of my behavior. I'm given the greatest gift in Jesus whether I'm naughty or nice. Oh how he loves us. I'm thankful God is reminding me of His love this advent.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

"How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" 1 John 3:1

Back in November, I signed up to participate in Lifesong's Advent for Orphans. You can read more about it HERE. I had no idea how much we would all enjoy it and how much it would challenge all of us concerning our materialism (myself included). It has become our morning activity during breakfast. 

We read scripture, pray, and collect money as the little window prompts. Each day it suggests a particular amount to collect. At the end of advent we will turn in our money and 100% of the proceeds will go to orphans. (For example, give 20 cents for every coat you have in your house. Or give 3 cents for every ornament you have on your tree. Or, give $2.75 for every person in your house that has a 4th grade education.) 

We have told the kids they can give as they feel led and they watch me put money in our jar every day. Their giving needs to come from their heart and it's been encouraging to see moments of their generosity. My tender hearted middle boy emptied his entire wallet in the jar. He didn't do it with any fanfare or prompting. I'm thankful that God nudged me to sign up for this and for the ways it has been an appropriate answer to my struggle with our materialism. Maybe this is our gift for Jesus this year?

In the evening during supper, we've also been reading the book above. If you are looking for a family advent devotional it's a great one. Maybe one of these days I can get through a reading without a voice tinged with emotion? God's "unconditional, unstoppable, unwrappable" love is knocking me off my feet.

I started writing this blog post in early December. I never felt good about publishing it. Twenty or so days later after lots of editing I am ready to post it. I can see how God has been at work in our family and in my heart. Jesus is coming! He's coming to my family and He is coming to yours. Do you see Him at work? Will you choose to "unwrap the greatest Gift" this Christmas?

Never a Dull Moment

The stunts around here are not limited to warm weather. 

(Nor do they dress appropriately when it is cold.)

This is what I came home to last Saturday morning after my run.

And yes, I tried to crop Luke out of this picture so as not to embarrass him. To explain his outfit... 

he was dressed as a pilgrim (which is what they were pretending before they got busy on the swings). 

Irina is the designated swing pusher and she pushes them hard and fast. 

They squeal like they are flying!

Irina decided to try it for the first time and asked me to take a picture. 

I love Ethan's look of admiration as she takes a risk. 

When they are not doing stunts they are role playing and "acting" out scenes. 

They've been on a Mary Poppins kick lately. Aaron has been trying to act out

the scene from the rooftops by walking on the top of the play set, kicking his legs, and 

swinging about his "broom." He sings at the top of his lungs, 

"Step in time. Step in time." He thinks he is Dick Van Dyke.

 I was able to convince him it was safer on the grass. Phew!

Do I have a future trapeze artist?

Two Years Ago

Two years ago today we met this little peanut. I still remember how nervous I was to meet her at the airport. We were so eager to love on her and find her a family. Phew! We had no idea how full, hard, rich, exhilarating, and faith stretching these past two years would be.

We talk a lot about what it means to be a young lady, but more importantly we talk about how to be a young lady that reflects God's love. God is at work in you my growing girl! We see glimpses and are honored to be a part of your journey.

Oldest Boy Privilege

Sometimes it is hard being the oldest kid. Prior to adopting Irina, that is how Luke felt. Being older meant more chores, more responsibilities, more expectations, but not necessarily special privileges. Slowly we've been trying to change that. It takes effort to make that happen, especially since the three boys are together so much.

When Irina came on the scene, it was a new adjustment. Technically, she is the oldest in age. She makes a point to remind Luke of that. When we are out and about, sales people always point out that she is the oldest. All of a sudden, Luke was bumped out of order. He became concerned with her getting to do things first. (drive a car, get an iPod, go to college, etc.) He loves that she is a great cleaning helper... especially since the two younger boys need a lot of help to stay focused. The big picture is that Irina and Luke have become good friends (we are so thankful!) However, this is just one of the many adjustments we have faced adopting out of birth order.

When I heard on the radio that one of Luke's favorite Christian singing groups was coming to town, Darin and I decided this would be a great opportunity for Luke to have a special privilege. His first concert!!! We surprised him... big time! He knew he was going somewhere with me, but he didn't know where. He guessed we were going to a movie theater (he's never been to one of those!) He guessed we were going to the circus, a tacky light tour, or some other Christmas related event.

When I told him we were going to a concert, he had no idea what he was in for. 

First, we drove near the concert and had dinner out. That in and of itself was a huge treat. 

He and I share similar tastes and Chipotle hit the spot. 

This was before the concert. He was really nervous. He is VERY sensitive to loud noises. 

(why didn't I bring ear plugs or cotton balls?!?) He kept his hood on at the beginning 

of each song, just in case it was too loud. Slowly, he warmed up (literally) and 

loosened up. He shed his jacket and ENJOYED!!

 Music affects me deeply... particularly the words. I have to be careful what I am filling my mind with because music makes such a big impression on my heart. Luke is very similar. He "feels" music deeply and with his extremely sensitive ears he notices so many nuances of music that I think others miss. We enjoyed Ryan Stevenson and Matt Maher.

I especially liked Matt Maher on the piano. It sounded great!

After intermission, then came Toby Mac and Diverse City Band. The concert was called "Worship, 

Stories and Songs." It had some funky grooves, but it was really worshipful. I left there feeling

 encouraged in my relationship with God. Luke kept saying, "This is awesome!"

He had his camera and took some videos to show Daddy, Ethan, Aaron, and Irina.

I love this boy! I love that he really enjoys being with me. He will lean over 

and snuggle on my shoulder and hold my hand unashamedly. The pre-teen years 

are sneaking up on us and we've encountered some attitude. 

That made this evening even more special for the both of us!

There was a huge crowd, but somehow the stories shared 

felt like Toby Mac was talking just to Luke and me. 

One quote from the concert (which I frantically scribbled down in my notebook in the dark):

"Who are you?" Toby Mac asks.

He challenged us to answer, "I'm the disciple that Jesus loves. 

Everything else pales in comparison to that."

Busy

Regular life this past week was BUSY. It's that time of year, right? Perhaps that is also the reason my kids are like a snowball that is thundering down a mountain. It only takes one "innocent" bump to get the snowball started down the steep terrain. As it gathers more and more heavy snow, it moves faster and knocks down everything and everyone in it's path. It's gaining momentum and it's gigantic! I have this picture in my mind of a huge snowball with legs and arms coming out in every direction. Yes, that is what it looks like over here. ;) 

On Tuesday, we finished decorating our tree. In the past, I enjoyed decorating the tree in the evening after the kids were in bed. I'd listen to my favorite Christmas carols and sing along as I carefully placed each ornament in the ideal location. It was calm and peaceful. Ahh... Then I'd sit back, turn off the lights, and gaze at the lovely tree, all the while feeling a deep sense of satisfaction. Don't worry. The kids would have their chance to participate. I'd save a small tray of ornaments for each child to throw place on the tree in the morning.

However, last year they just couldn't wait and I realized three things. One, they are old enough to be given the opportunity to be trusted with the fragile ornaments. Two, my need to create the "perfect" tree was a bit silly. And three, there is no time for sappy sentimentality. Let's just get those ornaments on the tree and be done with it. I'd forgotten how chaotic it was last year (maybe I was still suffering from jet lag?)

This picture gives the illusion of sweetness, but it was loud. They weren't arguing, but everyone has to be heard. They just shout louder so their opinions and memories can be heard. No one seems to be concerned about interrupting. I finally turned off the peaceful Christmas carols because I couldn't take the extra sound pollution. I think I have sensory processing issues. The tree is decorated. phew!

On Wednesday, we had our last Community Bible Study until the new year. As is tradition, the kids through 5th grade come in at the end and sing songs for the parents. This year, Irina was so excited she asked Darin to come watch and of course he did. Do you think she realizes what a loving and doting Daddy she has? Maybe she will some day. She is one blessed young lady. 

This picture doesn't come close to capturing what I saw. I didn't get a good photo of Luke, Ethan, or Aaron. Irina is in the back row. Do you see her? As you see, they are holding those flags which they waved while they were singing. All the kids in Irina's grade were in the back row. Either they were timidly waving their little flag or standing in place stiffly. I suspect they were completely aware of feeling childish waving their flag. Maybe wanting to be cool? This is the beauty of Irina's immaturity. (oh how I wish I caught a photo of her in full swing!) She is taller then all the kids and was waving her flag with her hand fully extended, singing with all her might. She had no idea that others were not swinging their arms like her. Or maybe she didn't care? I don't think she thought one moment about being too cool. She was performing and she was going to do her best. I'm glad she is confident to be herself. 

On Thursday, Irina and Aaron had their final "Art Exploration" class complete with an art show. It has been such a great class for both of them. They enjoy being together and honestly, Irina's maturity will often settle at a 5/6 year old level. A perfect match for Aaron! She's growing and maturing, but it will take time for her to catch up to her real developmental age. From what I've read, that is quite normal for kids from hard places. 

Their teacher, Mrs. Notley, really did a terrific job with these kids. They had 8 in their class. 

They learned about Chihuly, Picasso, Miro, Kandinsky, Mondrian, Seurat, and Polluck. 

This is Aaron's Picasso inspired drawing. Don't you love the lips and ears?

 She was SO proud of her work. Below is Irina's Picasso inspired work. I love her rosy cheeks.

Their class collaboratively made this Jackson Pollock inspired spatter painting. 

A really great conclusion to a very well done art class for these two. 

THEN, on Thursday evening we had the pleasure of a visit from Grandma and Grandpa. They live further away so we don't get to see them nearly as much as we would like. I waited until Wednesday afternoon to tell the kids (right about the time that I needed them to be my cleaning helpers!) Thankfully they sprung into action to help get the house ready for overnight guests. 

Since the kids hadn't seen Grandma and Grandpa for a while, it was all about "show and tell." 

They pulled out school projects, art work, and any other special toys. Luke kept telling me

that he was eager to "hang out" with Grandma and Grandpa. Super cute!

Thanks for reading stories, Grandma!

Thanks for being patient and interested, Grandpa, while Irina showed you all the photo albums!

Our weekend had more special surprises, but that is enough for one post. 

One Year in the USA

One year ago today we were doing this:

I remember feeling so many emotions... nervous, excited, eager, tired, and anxious. 

Our new adventure as a family of six was finally about to begin on our home turf. 

I still stand in awe of the miraculous way God orchestrated the details of our trip. 

We were anticipating and prepared to be in country for 3-4 weeks. 

We were on our way home in TWO weeks. Unheard of! Praise God!

Remember this? We were warmly greeted on the upper level by family both near and far. 

Both sets of grandparents, brother, sister, and cousins. Throughout this past year, 

family has been very supportive and we are thankful. 

Then there is this amazing crowd (and others not pictured) who regularly lift us up in prayer!

This is what it means to be the body of Christ. We have been well loved and cared for. 

It has not been an easy journey, but we are learning and growing and thankful

for gracious friends and family. 

"Irina and the Boys"

My sister-in-law says it sounds like an 80's rock band name. 

I assert that they are probably noisier then an 80's rock band!