Empty

Who would have thought a house with three boys could ever feel empty?? Seriously... the boys are noisy, messy and full of joyful life! (That's a story for a whole other blog!) Yet, our house now feels empty. The night we returned from the airport, it was painful to walk past her room and see her bed and pajamas from the night before. Sweet Ethan burst into tears and begged us to bring her back. The ache still continues as we re-adjust to life without Irina. No one warned us how hard it would be the days following her departure. (Or maybe they did and I didn't listen.) Prior to her coming I had some pre-conceived notion that it would be a relief to be back to "normal." But God has changed us and normal doesn't seem so appealing. This is a gift! What an amazing ride!

I am grateful for the many glimpses of my husbands tender heart as we miss Irina together. He wonders all day... What is Irina doing now? Is she hungry? Is she safe? Does her stomach ache from being empty? How can I eat this yummy meal when she has so little? Is she snuggling in bed with her sweet "mishka" (teddy bear)? Are the other children jealous of her adventure and being unkind to her? So we pray and pray for God to put a hedge of protection around her and pray that we would trust Him for her safety. I am grateful for our prayer time together.

We must give God glory for the ways He has answered so many prayers along this journey. Back on December 15th, I asked you to pray alongside us for some specific things. He has answered EVERY one! To Him be the glory!!! We prayed and He answered.

"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice." 1 Chronicles 16:9-10

* We prayed for safe travels and she arrived safely.
* We prayed for courage and peace for Irina and she was courageous!
* We prayed that she would quickly feel safe in our care and she quickly warmed up to all of us. Quite remarkable! She trusted us and allowed us to comfort her. She loved our whole family.
* We prayed for unity for Darin and I, and God was quick to restore unity when we had conflict.
* We prayed for her adjustment to our time zone and she quickly adjusted. She was a great sleeper!
* We prayed the boys would be comfortable to be themselves and they were. Normal brotherly conflicts and relaxed enough to sing and play like usual. They opened their hearts to love her well.

* We prayed for realistic expectations with the boys behavior and our response to it. I was specifically praying that the Holy Spirit would enable me to keep under control and not raise my voice to sibling conflict and He met me in this. Praise Him!
* We prayed for our communication and patience and I think we communicated well despite the language barrier.
* We prayed for Irina's forever family and God is stirring things up I'll share more about later.
* We prayed that she would see Jesus and not materialism. This is hard to measure so it is our continued prayer.
* We prayed that we would trust Him, give thanks in all circumstances and give Him glory. I pray that has been true!

God provided so much through so many of you. Your prayers, financial gifts, clothes, gifts, encouragement, dental care, vision care, translating, etc., etc. I have a long list of thank you notes to send out!

I'm not ready to close up this blog. I'm not sure how often I'll post, but we plan to stay in contact with Irina so if we have anything to report we'll share it here. If we learn any more details about her future, we will share it here with you.

Please continue to pray for Irina. Pray for God to protect her heart. She is a hurt child just by the experiences she has had in her 9.5 short years. Pray that she would know of her heavenly Father's love for her and that she would accept Him as her Savior. Pray that God would protect her physically as she lives with so little in Ukraine. Pray for her future.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Saying Goodbye

The pictures will have to tell the story of our morning. My brain is fried and I need sleep. Just like on the very first night Irina arrived when the boys were up every hour with excitement and anticipation, they were up again last night checking on her, having bad dreams and just feeling unsettled. 

The suitcase: 47 pounds! clothes, gifts, her sweet Mishka, toiletries, and her welcome sign

After all her contrariness, I was surprised (and a little sad) she jumped in the van. She was super excited about her new purse that was dropped off by some friends yesterday full of airplane goodies AND excited to see her best friend Polina in Boston (another orphan on this hosting trip.)

She and Aaron were very silly on the way. 

She was tickling him and he was kissing her hand. 

She is resilient! Happy and pulling her huge suitcase which I'm sure she could fit into. 

Waiting to check luggage.

Getting ready to say goodbye! My emotions starting to get the better of me.

I'm a little embarrassed by these next couple photos. This experience hosting Irina was like nothing I've ever experienced. We weren't just filling in for competent parents on a vacation. We actually acted like her parents for 19 full days. And with that came joy, frustration, love and tears. I was reminded of this by a friend: "And we can't forget to be encouraged by all of His work in your heart to bring you to a place of loving so much that it hurts." Yes, it hurt to say goodbye.

And another excerpt shared from a friend written by Katie Davis: "I have learned along my journey that if I really want to follow Jesus, I will go to the hard places. Being a Christ follower means being acquainted with sorrow. We must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate joy. Joy costs pain, but the pain is worth it. After all, the murder had to take place before the resurrection."

I was just about undone by the sadness from the boys. Ethan was the first to start sobbing, followed quickly by Aaron. Luke was sad too, but had a harder time expressing his emotions. They cried for a while and were still crying as we pulled out of the airport. They took a risk too and loved this little girl like she was their sister. They were very sad to see her go. 

Last glimpses before she goes through security.

As I write, she is aboard her plane to Germany and then on to Ukraine. 

Followed by a long train ride to the Donetsk region. She should arrive sometime Saturday afternoon. I received word from Boston that she was chipper and proudly showing everyone her photo album. In fact, one of the coordinators said Ira "borrowed"her camera and took about 100 photos in 10 minutes. Ira even had strangers in the airport posing for her! She is full of JOY!

Keep praying for sweet Irina. 

"The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Last Days Together

I know some of you are anxious to hear how everything went today. I'm just not sure I have the emotional capacity or clear thinking to sort through my thoughts. After our early departure for the airport this morning and emotional goodbye's we didn't make it home until 8pm this evening. (We made a stop on the way home to celebrate my mom's birthday with her.) It's been a long day filled with laughter, smiles and many tears.

Here goes nothing... you will have to be patient as I go in order. ;) Sorry!

As I mentioned in a previous post, Sunday afternoon and Monday morning were hard days for Irina. The realization that the trip was coming to an end really saddened her and of course it saddened us too. With the help of a translator, we were able to confirm the reason for her tears and comfort her. I am thankful that she accepted our comfort. It broke my heart to see her so vulnerable.

By mid-day Monday during our shopping trip, she was back to her giggly confident self with a little extra contrariness thrown in for good measure. Darin reminded me to extend her extra grace as she struggled to sort through her emotions. We heard a lot of "Nee Ha Choo" (okay... no idea how to spell this, but this is what it sounded like with a LOT of girly drama and facial expressions.) This translates to "I don't want to!" We had a good bit of this Monday and Tuesday.

We tried to spend as much time doing what she begged to do the most... riding bikes. At the end of the day Tuesday, I was pretty disappointed. I knew we only had one day left and my expectations were high. I wanted every minute to be special family time and it just didn't turn out that way. She wanted to do the opposite of everyone else most of the day. She would take off down the driveway on her bike and zip down the street laughing and laughing. Either Darin or I would run alongside her to remind her to stay on the side of the road and help her to not crash. (She is still mastering the use of brakes. She prefers to just crash into whatever is in front of her.) Darin joked that she was planning her escape route for Thursday.

Wednesday morning came and I was encouraged to just enjoy the moments together however they turned out. God heard my prayer and helped me put aside my tasks to just be present. It was probably one of our best days. He put a song in my heart! Whenever we were not outside, we listened to Seeds Family Worship (a recent Christmas gift - thanks J&J!). It is scripture set to music and God's word washed over me and helped me get through the day knowing that our time with Ira was nearly over. The contrariness was not there in Irina and we all played together throughout the day. A complete blessing!!!

"Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."Philippians 4:6-7

We concluded our day with a special dinner out and extended bedtime. After we got the boys in bed, Irina, Darin and I added her remaining photos to her photo album (a grand total of 187 photos!), read books, played, laughed and prayed. We tucked her in bed knowing that it would be the last time. These last 19 days have been both a mix of wonderful and super hard. They have stretched me more then I would have chosen to be stretched and have taught me a lot about myself and my family. I had no idea what we were in for when we signed up, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!

Airport photos coming soon...

It is time

We are all up and scurrying about to take Irina to the airport for her departure and long trek. I hope to blog about our final few days soon. But in the meantime, please join us in praying for the following:

* For Irina and the other orphans safe travels back to the orphanage. They have a long journey. They won't arrive at their respective orphanages until Saturday afternoon.
* Pray for the hearts of the children. Pray that they would not be afraid or overwhelmed by their emotions.
* Pray for the boys, Darin and me... we will really miss our sweet giggly pink girl!

Thank you for following along on this journey and praying! I hope you have been as blessed as we have.

Shopping

One of the last big tasks to accomplish before Irina flies back on Thursday was to purchase gifts for her to bring back to her closest friends and her caregivers at the orphanage. From what I understand, this is very important to the kids being hosted. With a very generous gift card in hand that we received from a complete stranger (wow!!!), she and I set off for Target. We had discussed the names of 6 friends and 4 caregivers that she wanted to shop for. We also had some money we received from my aunts and uncles that we had set aside for her to pick out something for herself.

Now just imagine... you've lived with very little for most of your life. Most everything you have is communal. And, you've never been in a large store before (aside from the trip to the grocery store a week and a half ago). This is like sending a kid into a candy store and saying pick what you want. Then add in the fact that you can't fully communicate to establish boundaries and a budget. And don't forget you visit America over Christmas and every time you go to someone's house you get more presents!!!

We survived our shopping trip on Monday and I was able to steer her towards some great purchases at the right price, but I have to say this was VERY hard. I RARELY bring my own kids to the store to let them pick out whatever they want. I had to say "nyet" A LOT. I simply could not buy everything she wanted and we needed to be practical. The large women's coat with a fur collar simply would not fit in her suitcase and this resulted in begging and begging, and then stomping off to a different aisle. I was gentle, but firm. Thankfully she did not hold a grudge, but we repeated this scenario of begging and stomping throughout the store. I don't fault her for this reaction. I understand completely, but I also know it would not serve her in the long run to buy her everything she wanted. I was oblivious to the other shoppers, but I'm sure they had fun watching.

The end result... approx. $120 spent! She picked out beautiful scarves for her caregivers, cards and pencils. She picked out pretty pens, pencils, notepads, crayons, socks, hair accessories, etc. for her friends. For herself, she picked out undershirts, socks, headbands, and some other fun goodies from the dollar bins in the front of the store. Phew! I'm glad that is done! (And I need to add here, that I am thankful for this sweet girls very generous spirit. She was VERY excited to pick out gifts for her friends and caregivers!)

We packaged up the goodies for her friends in clear bread bags and
tied them up with a bow. Then we labelled all the gifts. 

Goodies for her caregivers.