DATE!!

Yesterday we received the date of our appointment at the SDA in Kiev, Ukraine! Hooray! We will be traveling in LESS THEN 4 WEEKS. We have quite a journey ahead of us.

Here is what we anticipate* our travel will look like:

1st Trip: Darin and I will travel to Ukraine for about a week. This trip will include our appointment in Kiev, a 12 hour train ride to Irina's region, a visit at the orphanage, and a submittal for a court date in her region. Then our journey home. (train, plane, etc.)

We'll have about 2 weeks and then...

2nd Trip: All FIVE of us will travel to Ukraine for an experience we will likely not forget. :) We'll stay in country for 3-4 weeks or more, depending on the speed of the process (court date, 10 day waiting period, visa, passport, medical exam, exit interview, etc.) A great thing about homeschooling is that we'll continue on with our studies the best we can in country. At the conclusion of this trip we will bring our daughter home!!

We covet your prayers as we prepare to travel. Thank you for following along with us on our journey towards bringing Irina home. Let's pray we are home by December!

*We have been learning to hold all our plans loosely, since it is possible our plans may change. If that is the case,  we will have to be ready to be flexible. You can pray for this. :) 

Our Help and Our Shield

I am praying through the Psalms as we wait. There is still no word on travel dates. Tomorrow marks seven weeks since dossier submittal. September 3rd marked nine months since we said good bye to Irina at the airport. We do have reports from a fellow adoptive Momma that Irina definitely remembers us and is anxious to see us. She knows we are coming for her. Irina even colored us a picture and sent it back with the adoptive mom that got to see her in person! Precious!

We are praying for you my sweet daughter! The God who created heaven and earth with a word, knows exactly when we will see you again. We can trust Him for "he is faithful in all he does." Help my heart to believe it!!

"For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. 
The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.

By the word of the Lord were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
He gathers the waters of the sea into  jars; he puts the deep into storehouses. 
Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world rever him. 
For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded and it stood firm. 
The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people he chose for his inheritance.
From the heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; 
from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth-
he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.
No kind is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 
to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the Lord; for he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 
May your unfailing love rest upon us O Lord, even as we put our hope in you." Psalm 33

Hard

We are still clueless over here... and it hurts. It's been 12 days since we learned that our dossier was approved and we were told we'd know by now when our court date is in Ukraine. We know nothing. NOTHING. NO contact with anyone who has information. It feels like I'm dreaming. I'm fearful and praying God will help me trust Him. I'm struggling to do so. Today, I put together a collage photo frame for her room with some old and new photos and it was HARD. I want to be joyful, trusting, and expectant. Instead I'm worried, fearful and anxious. Are we really going to Ukraine any time soon or are we going to find out that Irina has been adopted by someone else? Should I begin the grieving process now? Crazy/Irrational thoughts and dreams!!

As a believer in Jesus, I should be filled with HOPE. Hope in what I KNOW is true. "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 God knows exactly when we'll be traveling. He knows the plans. He created Irina. He knows exactly how many hairs are on her head. He LOVES her more then us. These things are true no matter what happens. How do I live in the place of trusting Him and still accept these challenges? Can I find joy and thanks in ALL things? 

The uncertainty is burdening me. As fall schedules get going, how can I plan anything? for the boys? for us as a family? I have no idea what the next couple months look like and that is really bizarre for me. Can I settle in to just taking it day by day, moment by moment, trusting that God has this figured out? Oh, how I need His Spirit to help me do this. It's so contrary to how I am wired and maybe that is why we are walking this path? Perhaps it's an opportunity to learn to really trust Him?

Those of you who have walked the path of adoption, or have friends who have, already know about the challenges we will face once she is here. Others of you are more idealistic and naive. Once we get her home, the hard part will be just beginning. I don't say that to be pessimistic, but the hours and hours of required training for older child adoptions have not left me in the dark about what to expect. Irina is created by God and we are delighted to have her as a part of our family. We are confident that we are walking in obedience to God in opening our hearts and home to her.  However, Irina is a hurting child. Yes, the girl who we hosted at Christmas was filled with an inexplicable joy. As some have said, yes, she is a gem. But deep down, below that giggle and energy are wounds. Wounds that will eventually reach the surface as she finds a place of safety with us. Wounds that I'll never share... for it's not my story to tell. Our job will be to love her as she sifts through her emotions and discovers who she is in God's eyes. I can't fix her past, but I can give her His hope for her future. I certainly can't handle this in my own strength! We know (at least in our heads) that we will be blessed beyond measure as we lean on Him through the challenges ahead.

As I sit here in tears praying for our sweet girl, brainstorming a new American middle name, getting her room ready, wondering how she is doing, wondering what our future holds, hoping she still wants us to adopt her, wondering if we'll ever travel, crying out to God to give me peace and trust...will you join me in praying? Please pray that God will calm me and give me peace. Please pray that we will get information soon. Please pray that we will trust His timing and have JOY while we wait. Please pray that we will trust His financial provision as we are in the final stretch. I am looking forward to sharing how God answers these prayers. I know He will! 

[For additional reading about older child adoptions, check out this blog post from a fellow adoptive Momma. Based on my reading and training, it sounds right on.  Click HERE to read it.]