Prayer, Papers and Cleaning

I have been so eager to write about our journey towards adopting Irina, but the time to do so has been very elusive. First of all, thank you so much for all the encouraging messages and emails. Darin was just remarking today how significant it is that so many people are praying and thinking about Irina as she goes about her day to day life in Ukraine. Do you think she can feel the love? I sure hope so!

Before I can blog about where we are in the process now, I need to rewind back to January (4 months ago). If you've been following along, you know that we bonded with Irina when she was here. I'm learning through training that we haven't "attached", but as a result of positive shared experiences we have bonded. In the days leading up to and following her departure, Darin began discussing with me the nudging he felt to consider adopting Irina. This is not something I expected. It took me a little by surprise, but I could see Darin's sincerity. He took the lead and contacted new friends we had met through our hosting training experience. I am grateful for the time this husband and wife spent with us on the phone. They listened, shared their experience adopting an older Ukrainian girl and suggested several appropriate books. The best advice they shared with us was to wait three weeks and let the emotions settle down, all the while praying for clarity and wisdom.

And so on January 24th, three weeks after Irina flew back to Ukraine, and after much prayer we still felt the urge to move forward. We felt comforted and reassured that we didn't need to think through all the long term details yet. All we needed to do was pray and take the "next faithful step." (Wise words we heard often from a dear friend.) For us, our next step was to complete a home study. We received our home study packet in the mail on Friday, January 31st. You may already know this, but that is one heavy packet! I sat down for several hours that Friday evening and filled out every page I could fill out without having to think too much. I didn't even scratch the surface that evening on all the paperwork that needed to be completed and yikes! I was going to have to think. :) We worked hard for 3 1/2 weeks and much thanks to Darin's determination we were able to mail our initial paperwork back on February 25.

Throughout this process, there have been many opportunities for God to put up a road block or many road blocks. We keep repeating to ourselves, "Just take the next faithful step. Just take the next faithful step." For a planner like me, it has been an exciting place to live. In the midst of all this paperwork and decisions, we still have three other boys who need our attention. Not to mention our homeschool schedule. All of this has been another opportunity for me to be reminded about who is really in control. As much as I act like I want it to be me, it's so much better that it is not!!! God knows exactly where our path will lead and He is completely worthy of my trust. He has proven that to me over and over.

The month of March was spent arranging home visits with our social worker. Not to mention me going a little crazy cleaning the house. Well, maybe more then a little crazy, all to realize that it wasn't so important that our closet was perfectly organized or that our pantry was arranged in alphabetical order. I'm exaggerating here, but you get the idea. I went into crazy nesting mode purging closets and cleaning in spaces that I haven't cleaned in the past two years that we've lived in our house. I put so much pressure on myself (and the boys!) to keep everything "perfect" so we would seem perfect. I don't think it is an accident that each time I spent hours/days cleaning, the social worker cancelled. Or how about the day before one visit when Aaron decided to do a pull up on the towel bar. (So irresistible without all the dirty towels hanging on it.) Yes, it ripped out of the wall leaving two big holes. Yep! Just another opportunity for me to trust God and not be able to control it all! And by the way, the measure of a healthy family is not the white glove test. We surely don't maintain that day to day, but I felt foolishly determined to strive to attain that level of clean during the one hour (or less) the social worker was visiting. Phew! Oh the things God can teach you when you pursue adoption.

My time is up for tonight. To hear more about March and April and our adoption journey, stay tuned!