Notes to Irina

Almost TWO years ago on June 15, 2013, we were showered with love by friends and family at an adoption shower in honor of Irina. (She was still in Ukraine at the time.) Everyone was so generous in giving us items we would need for our sweet little girl. A girl! How were we to know how to prepare for a girl!?! girly clothes, dolls, ruffly nightgowns, monogrammed bags, towels and pillow cases, jewelry, hair accessories, etc.... all things we did not have in our house for a young lady. We quickly were inundated with PINK!!

But even more than the material blessings, what touched me most about that memorable day (planned by a dear college friend named Joanna) was the LOVE, PRAYERS, and SUPPORT. Jo planned so many special touches, one of which were "Notes to Irina" that each of the guests filled out.

After careful thought, I decided it best not to give Irina the notes when she first arrived in America. I wanted to give her time to learn the language and adjust to all the many changes in her life. On her 12th birthday in April, the time was finally just right to pull them out and present them to her.  (phew! glad I didn't lose them with my scattered brain!) With a shaky voice full of tears, I began reading them aloud so the whole family could be touched by the sentiments. But then there was commotion, and distractions, and noise, and chaos (Does that happen to you??)... and I tucked them away intending to try again later.

These tween years have been a volatile time for Irina's emotions. I hear from my friends that that is pretty typical for girls her age, but it just feels like there is more going on. Things can spiral unexpectedly and very quickly. Often times I am caught unprepared, forgetting all the tools I've learned for handling these emotions and the way she choses to express herself. My joyful, youthful, and very confident girl can disappear before my very eyes. It can last moments, minutes, or hours. Then as quickly as the storm approaches, it can fade away. I confess that in these moments it is not my gut reaction to draw close. I have to fight against my cynicism and irritation. I have to pray moment by moment for compassion, wisdom, and the ability to draw close to her. I have to pray for the Spirit to enable me to CONNECT with her and reassure her. I don't do this well and that is humbling.

This week when one such storm arrived, I remembered the "Notes for Irina." They are full of scriptures, prayers, and sweet words. I pulled them out and she was entranced. Sunshine returned. (Don't worry I took this picture on a subsequent day when she was reading them AGAIN. and AGAIN. and AGAIN. They are so special to her!)

My dear girl, someday you will read about these hard times on the blog. Maybe you will forget they ever happened? My hope and prayer is that instead you will remember all the ways God has been at work in your life and be able to praise Him for it. You are loved and you are CHOSEN. God loves you with an everlasting love. He will never leave you. We love you too! Love, Mommy