Focus

When I think of summer I think: fun outings, stress free days, squeals of delight, relaxation, lots of reading, time to catch up on projects and JOY. We've had some of that, but we've also had lots of sibling conflict, late bedtimes, less structure, boundaries being testing by ALL four kids, and too much birthday hype. The laundry never goes away. The meals still need to be made. Daddy still needs to go to work. This melancholy gal can get too comfortable riding the wave of despair and disappointment.

Since the spring, I am not ashamed to say, we've been seeing a Christian family counselor. I HIGHLY recommend it! We've needed counseling from a professional as we've adjusted to being a family of six. We've needed wisdom in how to shepherd the boys through the transition. We've needed help as we tackle the wounds and hurts that have shaped our growing young lady and how that plays out in her daily life with us.

This summer, we've seen a lot of regressing developmentally with our little butterfly. Oh, she is smart as a whip and picks up on small nuances. However, she is taking steps backwards. We see more juvenile behavior and significant testing of our authority and love. Is it because our expectations for her have raised since she's been with us longer and appears so grown up? Is it because she is able to express herself more verbally? Is it because she's trying to see what she can get away with? Or, are we just losing patience and growing weary? Only God knows...

My loving Creator has made me to be an emotional woman. I respond to all this change and these challenges with great emotion. I am passionate and feel things deeply. My mind starts spinning and I focus on all that makes me discouraged. I can't change that I'm emotional. However, I can change what I let my thoughts dwell on. With the Spirit's help I can change my thinking patterns. It will take great discipline to replace unhealthy, negative and often false thoughts with God's truth. I am ready to begin.

"We take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, 

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:2-3

A couple songs this summer have been an encouragement for my heart. 

One song is called "Fix My Eyes" by for King and Country. Take a listen here:

The second song that really encourages me is called, "Greater" by Mercy Me.

This adoption journey has not been a sprint to the finish. It is a marathon. So many twists and turns and changes. So much endurance and focus needed. If I get stuck thinking about how hard it feels at mile 2, I'll never make it to mile 26. That's why I'm thankful for family, friends and a counselor to remind me of God's truth and to remind me to keep my eyes FIXED on JESUS!